What the fuck? Life.

Love is a word,
life is a turd,
it's all fucking absurb.

The lover's a tit,
life's up to shit,
a wanker is born every minute.

Love is a hell,
'What the fuck' is that smell,
thinking we know ourselves well.

Love is a lie,
wormshit when we die,
I guess it was worth a try.

Love is salvation,
life a brief sensation,
this is a spiritual education.


This was after a failed relationship with an x-model. Don't go there. Models are vapid and think a hell of a lot of themselves. But we live, we learn... I think this was somewhere in 2003.

Lightness

Darkness is the interpose,
the moment before I arose.

Darkness is for darkness sake,
the moment before I awake.

Darkness is for darkest slumber,
dreams the key that turns the tumbler.

Darkness is the silent prayer,
the whisper that disturbs the air.

Darkness is the starry sky,
the teardrops that the angels cry.

Darkness is eternity,
it holds me tight and sets me free.

Darkness is and will always be,
the thing that shows the light to me.


I wrote this to test the theory that poetry.com would just accept anything - I was right. Oh well, I think it ended up being a pretty cool poem anyway... or is that a pooh-mmmmm... urk... sounds to much like scat.

Judas-cup

Jesus was betrayed,
by his close and trusted.
Jesus forgave him,
and the spear that thrusted.

The cup that Jesus drank from,
we call the Holy Grail.
But Judas, the betrayer,
drank also with the meal.

Hitler had the Golden Cup,
had power over millions.
But as with Jesus his betrayel,
came within his very own legions.

Many hands have held it,
throughout the many ages.
And back-stabbing has tailed it,
through our history pages.


This was my first poem published on poetry.com - but either I'm very good or they'll just publish any shit. I tested this theory by writing Lightness which then got me into their Who's who compilation. What a load of bollox. I wonder if they even read the shit that gets sent in! I think I also wrote this somewhere in the 90s.

Soul Searches of the Darklight

Scream of ecstatic pain,
piercing the darkness.
Where is the reluctant saviour
we crave and hate?

Whispers of delightful dread
echo over the plains.
What is the fear that grasps
us to its cancerous bosom?

Songs of shattered sunlight
resound in the cathedral.
Who is the toothless blood-bishop
that herds his faithless flock?

Sighs of choking indifference
caress the lover's corpse.
Why does the moth of truth
always fall to the flame of reality?

Howls of the voiceless souls,
trapped within our bodies.
When will my fettered freedom
release me to the hoards of my dreams?


I wrote this in 1998 - it's interesting, but I'm not sure where it came from or what it was actually about in the end.

Lost and Found

Rip van Dope, that I am;
Fell asleep to life.
Fell asleep to death.
Fell asleep to myself.

Seven years of stolen time;
Myself the victim.
Myself the thief.
Myself the broken law.

When at first you don't succeed;
Try and try again.
Try and fail again.
Try and live again.

My temple lies in disrepair;
No one to worship.
No one who worships.
No one to preach.

My mind the prison of body and soul;
I let myself escape.
I let my captive go.
I let my spirit free.


I wrote this poem from a line that eventually never got used in the poem at all. It might be another poem, it might be a short story - who knows. This is basically about my seven stoned years and my recent and current awakening from that slumber into a new life of focus and growth. I am still growing, still focusing, but I'll get where I want to be.

These tears are keeping me warm

You know these tears are keeping me warm.
You know these tears aren't cold at all.

These tears aren't cold like your cold cold heart.
These tears aren't tearing my soul apart.

My tears are helping me get over you.
My tears are the last you're getting from me.

Crying till my heart is emptied of pain.
Crying till my heart is whole again.

Laughing till the tears roll down my face.
Laughing till the hurt is replaced.

No more tears wasted on the unworthy.
No more tears, no more fears, no more you.


This was just made up because I heard a song with the words these tears in it and though of the line these tears are keeping me warm... so naturally I had to do something with it... but I feel that given some more time and thought I can probably do something better with it... we'll see. In the end, who really cares? You? Didn't think so.